First, there is no Gayle and second, there is less prosecco. Tucked deep inside his London dungeon in Hollywood California, Glenn Danzig’s (The Misfits/Samhain/solo) bookshelf oozed with enough forbidden fruit to make Tipper Gore, the mother of all helicopter moms, clutch her pearls. During the filming of his documentary Home Video (1990) Danzig gave us a tour of his house, which basically included a weight bench and his collection of books and comic books. When he got to his books, he had the grin of a juvenile delinquent showing off a switchblade stolen from his mom’s boyfriend. It’s like an episode of Reading Rainbow where every color is black.
The Werewolf
Author: Montague Summers
Published: 1933
“There’s lots of great werewolf stories— all documented all true— and there’s
one in particular that’s great where they’re looking for this guy who was
accused of being a wolf and he comes out of this clearing shaking a baby in his
mouth. That’s pretty cool. That’s the kind of stuff I like to read.”
-Danzig
Clergyman Montague Summers, the author of The Vampire, compiled this exhausting collection of storie, from folklore to ancient eyewitness accounts about werewolves , werejaguars, werelions, werefoxes, werebears (known as berserkers to the Norse) and yes, even werebadgers. To refer to Mr. Summers as “thorough” would be like calling Dave Attell “kinda funny.” This guy even translated into English a witch hunter’s manual from the 1500’s named the Malleus Maleficarum. The Werewolf is the perfect reference book for any horror writer.
The Occult Roots of Nazism
Author: Nicholas Goodrick-Clarke
Published: 1985
“Every school child should have this book.”
-Danzig
“Nazis. I hate these guys.”
-Indiana Jones
This book explains all wacky occult justifications for the Third Reich.. The Thule Society, founded in 1918, had a profound effect on the Nazi movement. This secret society is where a young Adoft Hitler got to rub elbows with his mentor, antisemitic playwright and author, Dietrich Eckart. Just goes to show how small groups wield great power and that if you want to do something extra heinous, you need creepy white dudes to put on robes and light some candles and shit.
The Anthropology of Evil
Author: David J Parkin
Published: 1985
You can’t have good without evil, and you can’t have evil unless you define what it is. The Anthropology of evil breaks down what is and isn’t. Evil is dissected through the different lenses of Confucianism, Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism and Islam. Even God Himself is put on trial. I think all major religions can all agree that Thrall-Demonsweatlive is pretty evil.
The Lost Books of the Bible and The Forgotten Books of Eden
Author William Hone
Published: 1926
“. . .Stuff that I guess most churches
wouldn’t want you to know about it
doesn’t fit in with their ideology of
Christ”
–Danzig
According to the Lost Books of the Bible, the little lord Jesus was a bad boy, smiting the neighborhood kids whenever they pissed him off and generally acting like Superman unhinged. No one told Mary that raising the Christ child would be easy. Whenever she spanked him, he’d just turn the other cheek. Some people believe these books are like the unearthed deep tracks on the Beatles Anthology. Others consider them blasphemy. Danzig considers them “light reading.”
Here a bonafide theologian gives his learned take on The Lost Books of the Bible.
A Dictionary of Angels
Author: Gustav Davidson
Published: 1967
“. . . Tells you all the angels, their names, the
days they preside over, their hours, what their
functions are. If you believe in any of that
stuff.”
-Danzig
If you want to go to heaven, it’s probably a good idea to know the staff’s names and their hierarchy if you don’t want to step on any sandaled toes. This book also addresses the fallen angels, the cheeky ones who said, “non serviam” to God and got booted from paradise. They gave a completely different Glassdoor review of working for the man upstairs (still beats working for Elon Musk). Remember, every time you read a Danzig book suggestion, a demon gets her scaly wings.
For those allergic to metal, Bonny Prince Billy picked up Danzig’s cross and did a haunting acoustic version of “Am I Demon?”
Few guitar players make a living imitating animal sounds on guitar, let alone boast a rock n’ roll resume that would impress the snobbiest music dorks, including Talking Heads, Frank Zappa, Cyndi Lauper, Tom Tom Club, King Crimson, and David Bowie. The Mary Poppins of sidemen, Adrian Belew never stayed with one project too long before raising his umbrella and flying off to the next scenario, coming at you in stereo like an infectious disease breaking out of your headphones into your membranes. He’s even got his own Parker Adrian Belew signature guitar, wishing in at a featherweight five pounds, and a Liquid Foot pedal board that can recall his crazy tones from 30 years ago. Here we take a deep dive into his music and enjoy a bit a of gossip along the way,
Sweetheart
“I was in every kind of band you could have, and none of it had made any difference success-wise. There I was, 27 years old, feeling that maybe the world had passed me by.”
-Adrian Belew”
Belew got his start in a cover band named Sweetheart, sneaking his unique style into other people’s songs to the delight of the audience, the ultimate “man, what are you doing here” guy. Then one day, while Sweetheart was playing a gig at Fanny’s in Nashville, a tall mustachioed man named Frank Zappa sauntered in along with his bodyguard.
Frank Zappa
Albums: Zappa In New York, Sheik Yerbouti, Baby Snakes, You Can’t Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 1, You Can’t Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 6 , Frank Zappa Plays The Music Of Frank Zappa,and Quaudiophiliac
”I didn’t think anything like that could seriously happen.”
-Adrian Belew
Brian Eno had hipped Zappa to Belew’s. Buzz about Belew’s playing had even reached Zappa’s chauffeur driver who drove him to Fanny’s. After making Belew sweat it out for 6 months, Zappa finally called as promised and paid to fly Belew out to audition, marking the first time the Kentucky native ever flew on a plane.
Belew said of the experience:
“I watched some really tough auditions, especially for keyboard players and percussionists. I didn’t see any other guitar players, but I was later told that he auditioned 50 guitar players.
“At the end of the day, when it all calmed down and people were finally leaving, I finally got my time to speak to Frank again. I said simply this: ‘Frank, I don’t think I did so well. I imagined this would have happened differently. I thought you and I would sit somewhere quiet, and I would play and sing the songs for you. And he said, ‘OK, then let’s do that.’
“We went upstairs to his living room, and we sat on his purple couch. I placed my Pignose amplifier face down on the couch so I could get a little bit of sustain, and I auditioned all over again. At the end of it, he reached out his hand and said, ‘You got the job.’ We shook hands, and that was an absolute turning point in my life.”
David Bowie
Album:Logan
Reprinted from Mr. Belew’s Facebook in his own words:
“In 1978 I did my first tour of Europe as “stunt” guitarist and singer for Frank Zappa’s band. The night we played in Cologne, Germany. Unbeknownst to me, Brian Eno was in the audience. Brian knew David Bowie was looking for a new guitarist for his upcoming tour. He called David after seeing our show and told David he should come see the guitarist for Frank’s band.
The next night we performed in Berlin. There was a part of the show where Frank took an extended guitar solo and most of the band members, including myself, left the stage for a few minutes. As I walked to the back of the stage I looked over at the monitor mixing board and saw David Bowie and Iggy Pop standing there.
Wow! I couldn’t believe it!
So I walked over to David Bowie, shook his hand and said, “I love what you’ve done, thank you for all the music”. And he said, “Great, how would you like to be in my band?” I motioned back towards Frank and said, “Well, I’m kind of playing with that guy.” David laughed and said, “Yes, I know, but when Frank’s tour ends my tour starts two weeks later. Shall we talk about it over dinner?”
David said he would meet me back at our hotel and sure enough when I arrived back at the hotel David Bowie and his assistant, Coco Schwab, were sitting on a couch in the lobby. As I walked past them they whispered to me, “Get into the elevator, go up to your room, come back down in a few minutes, and meet us outside. We have a car waiting.”
It was like something out of a spy film.
When I came back down and went outside there was a black limousine waiting. The driver opened the door and I got in the back with David and Coco. David immediately launched into all these plans for his upcoming tour, the songs we would play, the staging, and so on, and how much he loved my guitar playing! It was so exciting! He said they were taking me to one of his favorite restaurants in Berlin.
How many restaurants are there in Berlin? 25,000?
We arrived at the restaurant, went in the front door, and who should be sitting at the very first table but Frank Zappa and the rest of the band! So the three of us sat down with Frank and the band. David, trying to be cordial, motioned to me and said, “Quite a guitar player you have here Frank.”
And Frank said, “Fuck you Captain Tom.”
(note: Frank had demoted David from Major Tom to Captain Tom.)
David persisted, “Oh come on now Frank, surely we can be gentlemen about this?”
Frank said, “Fuck you, Captain Tom.”
By this point I was paralyzed. David said, “So you really have nothing to say?” Frank said, “Fuck you, Captain Tom.”
David and Coco and I got up and went back out the front door. Getting in the limo David said in his wonderfully British way, “I thought that went rather well!”
Talking Heads
Albums: Remain in Light, The Name of this Band is Talking Heads.
Belew met the Talking Heads when Zappa played with them on their Remain In Light tour. He is credited on the “The name of this Band is Talking Heads,” a collection of live recordings from the Remain in Light tour. He was probably closest with guitar player Jerry Harrison, since he played on all Harrison’s solo albums and still tours with him to this day. Belew also co-wrote Talking Heads side project, The Tom Tom Club’s “Genius of Love” famously sampled on Mariah Carrey’s “Sweet Fantasy.”
King Crimson
Albums Discipline, Beat, Three of a Perfect Pair, :Vrooom :Thrak, Thrakattak, the construKction of light: Vrooom Vrooom, Happy with What You Have to Be Happy With, The Power to Believe
“Hello Adrian, I know you’re not one to go raving so I figured it was safe to call you early. Did I wake you up? I did? Well look, Bill Bruford and I want to start a band with you.”
Robert Fripp to a very hungover and Adrian Belew
The new band in question was called Discipline They later decided to continue under the King Crimson umbrella, naming the album Discipline instead.Belew was the first guitar player in King Crimson whose last name wasn’t Fripp. Belew also got to write and sing his own songs in this version of King Crimson, which was the catalyst for his leaving the Talking Heads. That and apparently David Byne was a bigger diva than Mariah Carey back then, even making venerated bass player Tina Weymouth audition to keep her role in the band, which pissed her husband and Talking Heads drummer Chris Frantz off to no end. This might help explain why the Talking Heads passed up a huge payday of 80 million to reunite.
Cyndi Lauper
Album: True Colors
“When you’ve got great musicians, just let them play. I told Adrian, ‘Can you play like this guy?
Saying that to Adrian Belew, what the heck was I thinking? In my defense, I was under pressure and at the time not used to working with such great players.”
-Cyndi Lauper
As green as she was, Lauper knew when to put her foot down when it mattered. In her words:
“I remember Adrian Belew saying to me, ‘Cyn, what happened to the girl that wanted to have fun?’ “He was looking for that fun thing, and he was right — it kind of wasn’t there, you know? But I didn’t want to write ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun Part 2’ — because I was afraid if I did, I would be stuck there forever.”
And the rest is history.
NIN
Albums:The Downward Spiral,The FragileGhosts I–IV, Hesitation Marks
Trent Reznor had the unfortunate and rare opportunity of firing his favorite guitar player. The rest of the band threatened to quit unless Reznor gave Belew his walking papers.
Here is what went down, according to Belew:
“Here’s my version of it, “Now, you might ask someone else, and then they’d say something different, but when Trent called me, he was very excited about the idea that he and I would reinvent Nine Inch Nails. “And he even told me, ‘Don’t worry about learning the songs verbatim. Just get to know them.’ So, I listened to the songs, and I really didn’t try to figure parts out. I did a little bit just out of curiosity. So when I got there, we had 12 weeks of rehearsal time. I thought that’s the amount of time I had with Frank Zappa. I could learn anything in 12 weeks.”
“I don’t mind talking about it now. But at the time, it was so upsetting to me. But after 17 days, he said that some of the guys in the band weren’t comfortable with me. They didn’t feel like I was doing my parts right and that I knew the songs as good as I should. And I said, ‘Listen, I can tell you for sure – this is 17 days in. I’m still working out ideas of sounds and things. I’m not even worried about the songs.’ But those were ‘LA kind of players,’ you know? And in my mind, they have very little imagination, I’ll put it that way. So he said, ‘It’s time for you to go.’”
Solo Albums
Albums: Lone Rhino,Twang Bar King, Desire Caught By the Tai , Mr. Music Head, Young Lions, Inner Revolution, The Acoustic Adrian Belew, Here.
Belews voice is reminiscent of David Brynes, which makes sense after singing backup for him, with a Touch of Here come the Warm jets era Eno, but his guitar playing is still incomparable. In addition to singing and playing guitar on his solo albums, he also played drums. If Adrian Belew never made it as a guitar player, he would have had a smash career as a session drummer. All that time in King Crimson must have made odd meters a snap for him. He has a very strange approach to the kit, but he really makes it work for himself.
Sometimes you just need someone to cut you a little bit of slack, a helping hand, an alley-oop. I had no disposable income. I thought it would take me two months to get a new job. Six at the most. Nope! Instead of income, I had eleven months of outgo. Choices had to be made. Belts tightened. Niceties jettisoned.
The first thing I got rid of was my McAfee antivirus. McaFee is the kind of friend who won’t take no for an answer, showing up hours early to the party while you’re still in the shower. No matter how many times I tried to delete McAfee, even after using their uninstall program, it would just reinstall itself and give me pop ups like this.
McAfee is the most aggressive of panhandlers
Meanwhile, I got a 911 call from my buddy Jay. Director Brian Wild tapped rockabilly singer and collage artist Mighty Joe Castro to provide the soundtrack for a booger monster called The Boog,” Joe needed collaborators to write and record the theme song.
Of course I was in. Who wouldn’t be? I already had everything I needed to record us in my basement, except for a reliable program like Pro Tools to mix and master the audio. I looked up programs like Cubase, and Studio One but they are all subscription based, and cost more than a month of Netflix. I didn’t have the money for that.
Reaper is nagware. On bootup, a prompt asks you to pay the piper, with a five second delay to let the guilt soak in. You are expected to pay for it, but they aren’t going to shut the lights off on you if you go past the trial period. I figured that I was only going to be unemployed for a couple months, so why not? I promised myself that I’d buy a subscription with my first paycheck.
Oh wait. McAfee is chiming in again:
Stalker -”A person who harrasses or persecutes someone with unwanted and obsessive behavior.”
Reaper has a really cool backstory. The reason that the program is so affordable is because its developer, Justin Frankle, isn’t in it for the money. After selling Winamp, a legendary media player from the file sharing days, to AOL back in the early 2000’s, he didn’t need a paycheck anymore. Reaper is a pet project for him, just for funsies.
He says that he “programs out of frustration.” If a product isn’t up to his personal standard, he writes his own. He also picked up recording music as a hobby, and wasn’t feeling the existing software like Logic. Instead of complaining about it, he created Reaper, his take on the Digital Audio WorkStation (DAW). And he charges reasonable prices. $60 for private use and $225 for commercial economics if you make more than $20,000 a year on music. Its stock plug- ins gave me all the compressors, and eq, and reverbs that the Beatles had, and much, much, more. I had no excuses.
In this killer interview, Frankle asks the question,”Why can’t art also be functional? Carpentry can be art. Why not software?”
My answer is that he can call it anything he wants to, as long as I get to use the end product for my stuff. As symbiotic as Doozers and Fraggles.
Puting the “fee” in McAfee.
There is a difference between someone working for cash and someone doing it for more esoteric reasons, not only with affordability, but with functionality. When the focus isn’t on pulling every last dime out of your digital wallet, it falls into craft. Reaper is going to be my eternal DAW of choice. Not just because of them hooking me up with a deal. I love how customizable and light weight the software is. You can even put adorable little VU meters on every track and mixer channel. When you don’t need to bog it down with anti cracking software, or resource sucking animations, everything runs quickly. Rendering is almost instantaneous.
I was able to utilize my downtime mixing the soundtrack for a cool movie. I got to learn a lot about recording due to their great tutorials. And I would have never been able to do this without the program. Oh and with my first paycheck I got the license, just like I promised. The Boog is doing well at screenings such as the Asoria Horrorfest, and TerribleFest in Toronto. And we couldn’t have done it without Reaper. Hopefully, these tools will fall also into the hands of more talented musicians than yours truely.
Thanks to the staff at Flash Fiction Magazine for being an absolute joy to work with. I’m so lucky to have horror published this close to halloween. Check it out and leave a comment about how great I am!
Straight outta Portland, (Maine) Get Out of My House sounds like they played their last show at Bang Bang bar in Twin Peaks, blanketing the dance floor with a fog machine of post-punk depression and fidgety pop featuring Kenzie’s swirling chorused guitars, Tomis’ jazzy drums, and New Wave stylings of Tzara on the bass guitar. Grief Group Records, who signed them before they played their third show, released their first banger GOD ON MY SIDE 4 EVER. So brew yourself some coffee, put on those bigass headphones from the 60’s and enjoy this album like how Agent Cooper savors cherry pie.
How did ya’ll meet?
Kenzie: Tomis and I met a long time ago when we saw The Doug Quaids at Marlboro College in 2016. I think I was playing in Glittergutz at that show and thought “Wow.This person is a genius.” There were people hanging from the rafters from that show. Great show. Years later we played in another band together called Windier. Tomis and friends moved to Portland, and a couple years later I decided to move here too. I met Tzara at work and I thought she was so cool. She was the first person I met in Portland who I knew I wanted to be good friends with. Tzara and I had been talking for a while about how we both wanted to start a band after bonding over music we both loved. Tomis finally brought it together, texting us one day and asking if we wanted to jam at his practice space for Lahnah. I would say it was love at first sight.
Tzara: It was the first night I saw Lahnah, Tomis’ other band, play that the plan really coalesced. Seeing that show, at the very least, really lit a fire under Kenzie and I’s asses to put the talk into action and Tomis had been meaning to get back into drumming. We found each other at exactly the right moment.
Can you name any new artists that everyone needs to hear about, especially buddies of
your’s? What art outside of music inspires you?
Red Eft, S.C.O.B.Y., Amiright?, Windier, Ween, Deerhoof, Marnie Stern, Hole, David Cronenberg, Michael Bay’s Transformers, Michael Bay’s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Breaking Benjamin, Michael Bay’s Transformers: Age of Extinction, the WGA strike, Zelda, Dark Souls
Who writes the songs? How do you know when a song is finished?
Most of the songs start with Kenzie bringing forth a collection of guitar parts that she wants to piece together. The structure doesn’t get fully decided until much later. “Incisors” and “7 Uppers” started as bass lines with the structure mostly mapped out from the beginning. We all write our own parts for each of the songs. We play that until we’re sick to death of it and then we rewrite it into something less irksome. That’s the version of the songs that we recorded and play at our shows.
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room. As everyone knows, Tzara is the spawn of famed protest singer/communist agitator Phallus Cooper. Do you ever get people chanting Bosshole or Beast Infection cover requests at your shows? How do you still manage to bloom while growing up in his shadow?
Tzara: Bosshole’s local. We’re international (playing a show in New Hampshire next week). I’ll be charitable and say that James parented with a very light touch. Large as the shadow of Phallus Cooper may loom, there is a hell of a lot of space between Oregon and Maine.
My first and only prior foray into writing music started in high school, one of my buddies started an Album of the Week Facebook group where the only way to get in was to first make an album. My buddy Lucas and I made our album in about 6 hours, from having nothing written to having it mastered and published on Bandcamp, just a bass guitar and drums. I didn’t really get how chord progression works, so it was just endless vamps with meandering, kinda spooky bass melodies, sometimes with some harsh noise or a guitar solo dubbed over.
The last known photograph of Phallus Copper, Circa 2007
I love your David Lynch cover. Did youse watch the Twin Peaks reboot?
Tzara: Kenzie and I watched it together over the last month. Kenzie hadn’t seen it since 2017, I had never seen it before. Both mega-fans, incessantly quoting lil quips from the show at each other.
Tomis: Yeah. I’ve watched it. Both seasons. Twice.
What is the best show you have ever played?
Kenzie: We’ve only played two shows and the first one was the best.
Tzara: We played one show for 40 people and one show for 12 so I’m gonna say that the one we played for 40 people was probably the better show.
Tomis: There was definitely more than 40 people there. Like 60 or 70 maybe.
Kenzie: The Apohadion was packed. Maybe even 100. I don’t know what 100 people looks like.
Can I get a rig run-down on Kenzie’s guitar for the tone snobs out there?
Kenzie: I’m using a Memory Man, this cool reverb pedal[?], a Squier Stratocaster I’ve had since I was 15 that I got for $50, a distortion pedal that I was gifted from someone who built it themself, an Electro-Harmonix B9 Organ pedal, some pedals I borrowed from Tomis that I don’t even know what they are, and the amp is an EVH 5150.
Does Tomis have any formal jazz or prog background? There is some tasty interplay going on between the hi hats and ride cymbals that isn’t the standard rock and roll fare, venturing into Billy Cobham or Joe Morello territory.
Tomis: Thank you, I love Billy Cobham. That’s awesome. Yeah I graduated Julliard, I graduated Berkley and I also graduated Harvard and I also taught drums at USM. In middle school.
The recording quality on the album features dirty, lo-fi elements without sounding sloppy or unprofessional. What studio did you record at? Was it a good time? Who engineered it?
Kenzie: Tomis engineered it. We recorded it at Grime, which is where we practice and where we are right now, in our little practice room. It was a great time, it was a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun.
Tzara: I would give Tomis five stars on Yelp.
Kenzie: Absolutely. Ten stars. Maybe even 100. He did it all. It’s really amazing.
Anything lined up for the future? Any shows, recordings sessions, or podcasts?
Tzara: We’ve got a show lined up for the 7th of September at Grime Studio, our home away from home, with both of Tomis’ other bands, and one of Kenzie’s other bands. A proper send off for a pillar of the Portland Rawk community because Tomis will very soon be living and performing in the land of milk and honey, Philadelphia, PA. You and your readers will have that to look forward to, Kenzie and I will be licking our wounds. We’ve lined up a new drummer who is, miraculously, also a sound engineer, but the pain is real. But we’re looking forward to seeing where things go Grief Group ,our very small time record label, asked us to be on a podcast called Ask A Punk but we haven’t heard any updates on that.
I am honored to be a part of Sci-fi Lampoon Summer23 issue! You can read my story “Blown out of Proportion” by Steve Levandoski with a purchase a honest-to-goodness hardcopy at their Lulu Store and have it mailed to your door. The perfect bathroom reader.
From SciFiLampoon.com
“We accept humorous speculative fiction, an umbrella genre encompassing narrative fiction with supernatural or futuristic elements. This includes, but is not limited to, science fiction, fantasy, superhero fiction, science fantasy, horror, utopian and dystopian fiction, supernatural fiction as well as combinations thereof. Humor. Satire. Spoof. It can be a humorous take on space operas, a satire of apocalyptic disasters, a spoof of heroic fantasies, fake ads & letters to the editor or a love advice column for human/alien couples. Use your imagination, damnit! Just keep our theme of speculative fiction in mind.“
“He had the confidence to be the butt of the joke because he created the joke.”-Cher
Wait? She’s married to that old guy? He’s so short! And his voice ain’t nothing to write home about. What’s the deal? What did she see in him? How did he get that hip? Well, he wasn’t born rich or connected, that’s for sure.
Born in Englewood California, Salvatore Phillip Bono, the youngest child of three kids, dropped out of school and worked as an assistant butcher, a waiter, and a truck driver before he got his big break at Peter Potter’s Songwriter’s Search. Even at the age of sixteen, Bono knew to stack the audience with his loud, drunken, family members. Their rowdy standing ovation clinched the win for him. He used that chutzpah to propel him forward for the rest of his days, which led to him becoming the mayor of Palm Springs later in life.
Not many people sell the first song they ever write. Sonny did that in 1952 with his song “Ecstasy”. He originally wrote it for Tony Bennet who said, “thanks, but no thanks” so Sonny turned around and sold the tune to Johnny Otis.
Sonny used his charm to weasel his way into writing for Specialty Records, run by Art Rupe, that featured all black artists like Little Richard and Sam Cook. He wrote “High School Dance” “Baby You Bug Me” , and “She Said Yeah” for Larry Williams. For Sam Cooke, he wrote “Things You Do For Me” and ”Koko Joe”, another diddy he penned back when he was just a teenager. When the Righteous Brothers covered Don and Dewy’s version of “Koko Joe,” it boosted Sonny’s star considerably.
Sonny became buddies with another songwriter, Jack Nietche, one of famed record producer Phil Spector’s songwriting lackeys. They co-wrote “Needles and Pins” the song that launched Sonny’s career. Jackie DeShannon recorded Needles and Pins first, but it was the Searcher’s cover that brought it to the number three spot on the charts. This got the attention of Nietche’s boss, Phil Spector.
“A little tear jerker written for us by Mr. Sonny Bono”-Joey Ramone
The Wall of Sound was Spector’s secret production technique that captured hits like the Crystals “And Then He Kissed Me” and the Ronettes “Da Do Ron Ron.” He later recorded the Beatles Let it Be album and the Ramones End of the Century. Spector utilized two drummers, two bass players, two organ players, four guitar players, and an army of background singers and percussionists. If the drums were too loud, he’d simply ask one of the drummers to take five. He made the musicians rehearse the tunes for hours beforehand to get them so tight they could play it without thinking and blend together like a sonic stew. Some musicians accused Spector of doing this to stop them from getting too fancy, since they would be too exhausted to overplay.
Calling Phil Spector batshit crazy would be an understatement. The guy pointed a gun at John Lennon, Leonard Cohen, Dee Dee Ramone, and many others, before finally shooting his girlfriend Lana Clarkson and spending the rest of his life behind bars for murder. He was like the Anti-Rick Rubin.
There is a famous story of Spector, a black belt, karate kicking a noisy air conditioning unit right out of a ceiling. He also made his wife, Ronnie Spector, drive around with a cardboard cut-out of him when she drove alone.
Sonny Bono started out a gofer and worked his way up to being Spector’s right hand man. He pitched-in on background vocals as needed. With his endless charm and razor wit, Sonny was the perfect go between for the producer and the talent.
Oh, to be a fly on the wall:
Phil says, “Sonny, tell those cretins to get it right this time or I’ll cut their eyes out and feast upon the souls of their children.”
Sonny walks over to the musicians.“Hey guys, Phil thinks it’d be really groovy if you could try another take. Is that cool with you cats?”
When Sonny met Cherilyn Sarkisian, she was a sixteen-year-old runaway hanging out in a coffee shop and he was a twenty-eight-year old married man, recently separated from his first wife, Donna Rankuin.
According to Cher, she lied about her age to him, and he was actually hitting on her friend. But then she eventually used her sob story to let her move in with him as house cleaner, with a platonic relationship. But then one thing led to another. Sonny said she “just wanted someone to protect her” and he did. (Not counting the endless affairs on his end.) For the first and last time in history, a record producer made good on his promise to make a young girl a star.
Before Cher knew it, she was singing backup on “Be My Baby”, “Da Do Ron Ron”, and “You Lost That Loving Feeling”, while hanging out with Wrecking Crew, the most recorded studio musicians in history including Carol Kane on bass and Hal Blaine on drums. This gravy train lasted until Sonny opened his big dumb mouth and told Phil that his precious Wall of Sound was “getting stale.”
Sonny’s first attempt at producing his wife was a love song about another guy named Richard Starkley. Her song “Ringo, I Love You, (YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!)” was a flop, performed under the name Bonnie Jo Mason. Tracks like this one are why pseudonyms exist.
But then they had their first hit with “I Got You, Babe”, which eventually got them their own television show, “The Sonny and Cher Show.” And the beat goes on.
Next In Line Magazine 